


Just A Bit

by soakyourskin



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, solo!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 18:45:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4798385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soakyourskin/pseuds/soakyourskin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit too raw, a bit too much of him, and them, and it's everything they've ever had, in a song. It's five years worth of <em>liamandzayn</em> in four minutes. It's four minutes of <em>brave, </em>and <em>it's you, </em>and <em>of course I will</em>, and he thinks that's he's never been more willing to lay it out there for all the world to hear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Bit

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this](http://thepalmtoptiger.tumblr.com/post/129032966271/fuck-when-zayns-album-drops-were-all-going-to) post by [Jules](http://thepalmtoptiger.tumblr.com).

He’s shaking a bit—trembling, and just itchy everywhere, and he wants to maybe find a way to get out of his body and hide—and maybe this was a bad idea because it’s a bit too much, isn’t it? It’s a bit too much, too honest, too close to the heart to be appropriate.

It wasn’t ever something he worried about while writing. It was never about having to worry about being able to find the words to say because those came easily. They’ve always come so easily. It’s saying too much that scares him.

 

_I won’t cover my scars. I’ll let them bleed so my silence won’t be mistaken for peace._

 

He’s become too transparent in the words he’s written down—and to say that, with his art and sketches just filling up the other room, is a lot—and he’s afraid of being laid bare, everyone hearing him, everyone knowing. He’s transparent and open, and it’s Liam underneath it all.

 

_Jab tak is mohabbat ka phool na khilay, tab tak is dill ko sukoon na miley. Dil day mujhe, dil day mujhe, dil day mujhe._

 

It's a bit too much, he thinks, just a bit too much for it to be meant for anyone but him. It's a bit much, and he wonders if it's always been that way. If he'd always just been so visible with it. If all the times he's said his name, did everything just spill from such simple a word.

He looks at Liam now, seated across from him, headphones snug around his ears, listening to each song and Zayn knows it suddenly, with just one look at his face. Liam's always been so easy to read, or maybe that just came with all the nights wrapped up in each other, tangled underneath sheets, secrets traded with each slick movement. Or maybe, it's just because he's Liam, and he's Zayn, and that's the way it's always been. And he thinks that maybe his own words and looks and touches have always only been apparent to _him_ , and maybe that's okay.

 

_As long as you look me in the eyes, I’ll go wherever you are, I’ll follow behind._

 

He's getting a bit nervous now because he knows what's coming. He knows what's coming, and it's what he's been most afraid of letting Liam hear because it's a bit too much, it's a bit too honest, it's a bit too close to the heart to be appropriate.

He remembers writing so much of it on the nights he'd wake up in a cold sweat, alone in bed with tears running down his face, Liam's name still bitter on his lips in ways it's never been. He remembers the ache in his chest, the burning inside his body, right under his skin, that couldn't warm him the way Liam's heat would have.

 

_The choices we make change the path that we take but I know that somewhere out there there’s a path that we chose, there’s a life that we share._

_There’s a love, and it grows._

 

Too raw, too raw, it's always been. A bit too raw, a bit too much of him, and them, and it's everything they've ever had, in a song. It's five years worth of _liamandzayn_ in four minutes. It's four minutes of _brave,_ and _it's you,_ and _of course I will_ , and he thinks that's he's never been more willing to lay it out there for all the world to hear.

A hand on his arm and he looks up, and it's Liam with this look on his face that's so familiar, even after five years of memorising every expression on his face, shaped for him, by him, because of him, this one has always been the most familiar.

He's almost afraid to ask but he's got to anyway. He's shaking a bit—trembling, really—the question tingling on his lips waiting to be voiced but Liam knows before he's even opened his mouth, and with a hand to his arm, and a gentle squeeze, he knows not to say anything. They've always found words in the quiet between them.

It's the most he can do, and it's enough, to move a bit closer, pull the wire and let their music fill the silence.


End file.
